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November 17, 2013

A day in the life of The Snootch (Suu Kyi)

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"No unnecessary tension": words to live by!

Read transcription

Syu Kyi:
My name is Syu Kyi and I'm a cat. I'm a female cat actually, but my voice has been disguised for privacy reasons because this tape is going on the internet. My favorite occupation of all is to sleep. And if there were an Olympics for this, I could sleep for Australia. Here I'm enjoying Sunday morning. Occasionally my claw gets stuck, but I know that my slave will always be there to remove it for me should it prove necessary. I live in a strange house where photographic equipment appears to be the main decoration.

Syu Kyi:
Suddenly an idea occurs to me. I know. I'm going to stretch my lat. Only the right one, as you can see. And then I relax again. My second most favorite activity is licking and nibbling on various parts of myself. Here I'm working on my left hand. In a sudden burst of activity, I head outside. The outside of our house is lovely too. And we have grape vines and I'm particularly fond of sleeping at the bottom of the grapevine.

Syu Kyi:
And the interesting thing is that when I'm asleep, not even the sound of a chainsaw can disturb me. Here there's some idiot over the back garden revving one like there was no tomorrow and I just keep sleeping. Suddenly I feel the need for a burst of activity. I know. I'm thirsty. So I'll head off to the little drink bowl which lives in the corner and is reserved just for me.

Syu Kyi:
When the dogs start barking loudly outside, this is when I find that I need to lick myself the most often. And the neighbor's dogs are pretty stupid. They bark all the time. When that activity goes, though, I'm back to my other favorite, sleeping. And licking. This time. It's the right hand. Notice how I really get into it too.

Syu Kyi:
And my last activity that I love is exploring, and I'll I'll use any excuse for sticking my nose in anywhere. Back to licking. Don't you wish you had that kind of flexibility? My motto in life is: absolutely no unnecessary tension.

Syu Kyi:
My favorite person in the whole world is my slave. Here you can see I'm humoring her by dancing with her, something she'd like to do from time to time. She's very musical actually. And also she tastes pretty good as well. So here I'm giving her the benefit of my sandpaper tongue. There's absolutely no mistaking that temptation.

Speaker 2:
Yaaaaaak (Jim Carey reference).

Syu Kyi:
It's great to be a cat.

Speaker 2:
That taste good? Taste like mummy?


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